I was addicted to chaos.
I was addicted to being sad. Being overwhelmed. Being stressed. Being heartbroken. Being a victim.
I was addicted to the feeling of needing other people's support and the feeling of genuinely hating life. I was so f*cking addicted to it.
But then I realised how addicted I was. I realised how unhelpful it was. I realised how things could be different. I realised that the addiction was making it all worse. I realised that I could be happy.
I woke up and decided that it was an addiction I didn't want to encourage anymore. I sought out professional support from counsellors and coaches. I started new habits and routines. I worked on my mindset. I changed the game.
I was so addicted that sometimes, I find myself creeping back there with subtle comments like "of course this happened to me" or "how am I so unlucky". But I can reflect on the comments without judgement and let it go. I can be aware of unfortunate circumstances and simple acknowledge it without letting it consume me. It's a constant work in progress, but I've come so far and I'm no longer addicted to chaos.
With love & support,
Shorina | Mindful Soul Collective
Counsellor & Wellbeing Coach