This is my first Q&A blog post, and I’m so excited. I asked on Instagram what your trauma questions were and I’m going to run through some of the most popular questions now while trying to avoid a lot of jargon and rambling! Let’s do this.
The first question was “is it possible to never heal from trauma?”. My answer is yes, it is possible to never heal from trauma, but only if you’re consciously deciding not to heal. If you are putting the time, energy and sometimes money into healing the trauma, you will be able to do it. It may take years, but everybody can heal from trauma.
The next question is “can you truly heal trauma?”, this is super similar to the first question and my answer is yes. All trauma can be healed. The trauma will take commitment, time and work on your end, but it can be healed. 100%. With this, I also want to say that the trauma will not disappear from your life when you heal it, it just stops affecting you.
The next question “what are the most common symptoms of trauma?”. The most common symptoms are: being overly emotional and upset, sleeping a lot more or very little sleep, feeling senses of hopelessness and unsafety, negative moods and thoughts, feeling angry, guilty, ashamed or scared, experiencing physical signs of stress, feeling on edge or easily triggered, avoiding all reminders of the event, feeling depressed and anxious. This is definitely not a complete list, but some of the most common symptoms.
The next question is “how do I know I need to heal trauma?”. If you have any symptoms of trauma, then seeking out professional help to talk things out and determine if there is unresolved trauma there. And ps, most of us have some kind of unresolved trauma.
The next question is “which therapy type is best for trauma healing?”. My answer for this is it depends. As always, people react to things in different ways. There are so, so many different therapies that can help, I want to say that somatic trauma therapy is the best because that’s what has been a game changer for me and now use with my own clients, but I’m about to start EMDR because it’s had great results for others too. So my answer to this is really try things out, maybe start with somatic trauma therapy or EMDR and move onto something else if you feel like it isn’t helping, but in saying that, give it time to work too.
The next question is “why is trauma healing so tiring?”. I love this question, such a good one. When you’re investing your time and energy into healing, you’re going to feel physically and mentally tired because you’re allowing yourself to experience and possibly relive memories that were painful. You’re allowing yourself to feel things that you haven’t felt, or maybe were unsafe to feel and more than likely, you’re grieving. When you’re healing trauma, you are processing so much and that exhaustion you feel is simply because it’s so bloody tiring. This is especially true if you’ve avoided your trauma for a long time.
I also love this next question, “what happens to therapists who listen to trauma all day?”. People in the helping industry can definitely be impacted negatively by the trauma they help clients process. This can actually be trauma itself; it’s called vicarious trauma. Therapists or anybody in the helping space has to take responsibility for their own boundaries, which can mean a lot of different things for different people, but ultimately that means that after a difficult session with a client, we need to be able to release any trauma and distress that we are holding. Again, there are probably hundreds of ways this can be done, but for me personally, I actually have a bit of a pre and post-session ritual I like to do to protect myself. Prior to a session, I use a beautiful palo santo and white sage spray, I spray it over myself and my desk, I also have a big crystal collection so I often am holding crystals during sessions too. After a session, I do whatever feels good for me, that could be moving my body or shaking it out, it could be doing a visualisation where I put the session and information from the session into a box until later, it could be a body scan meditation, journaling, crying or doing some reiki on myself. And most importantly, I have my own counsellor and business coach to help me move through anything that is particularly difficult.
The next question is “how long does trauma therapy last?”. This question is so hard to answer. It could be months, it could be years. It really depends on the person, the circumstances and the traumatic event itself. Unfortunately I don’t have a one-size-fits-all answer for this one.
The next question is “how do you help somebody else realise they’re suffering from their past traumas?”, ohhhh such a good question. Okay. My recommendation here is to share your concerns as to why you believe somebody’s past traumas are affecting them now and then the ball is in their court. The first step to healing trauma is for the person holding that trauma to recognise and acknowledge that they deserve to heal from it, and unfortunately some people are not their yet, so you can express your concerns with love, but you can’t force anything onto them. Kind of like that old saying, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. It’s a similar concept. You can’t force someone to heal, they need to want too.
The next question is “how do I stop myself from using my past traumas to justify habits I have today?”. Okay time for some tough love. If you are using your past traumas as an excuse for behaviours, actions or habits today, then you need to take responsibility for that. Our past traumas are not an excuse and my guess is that the original trauma has not been acknowledged, heard and healed yet, so start by working on the trauma, and then from there you do need to take some responsibility for the present. We need to hold ourselves accountable for our actions and not excuse the damaging actions or behaviours we are doing. If we have experienced trauma, we owe it to ourselves to heal it and take ownership of the present while also being compassionate and loving to that past version of us. Working with professional help will be life-changing for you.
The next question is “how do I stop obsessing over my past trauma?”. This one is easy. Heal it. If you’re obsessing over your trauma then it’s because it wants to be seen, heard, acknowledged, witnessed and healed.
The next question is “what should you not do when healing trauma?”, this question will definitely depend on the person and I think I’d rather focus on what you are doing first. So what habits, routines, tools, techniques and things are you doing for your healing journey? Because if you’re taking the right steps there, then other things won’t impact it quite as much. Though, I’d definitely recommend not taking and recreational substances and avoiding alcohol where possible.
The next question is “how do you release old trauma?”. You release old trauma by healing it. Working with a professional is always my number one tip, but if that isn’t possible, the steps I’d recommend are acknowledging that you deserve to heal, creating safety within yourself and your environment, educating yourself on trauma, prioritising the basics of your overall health and wellbeing so things like water, sleep, nutritious foods, sunlight, fresh air, movement, leaning on your support team, having healthy habits and routines, practising mindfulness, regulating your nervous system and doing self-awareness work. I have done an entire podcast episode diving into this so I’d recommend jumping in and listening to that!
The next question is “where is trauma stored in the body?”. This could have a very long answer, so I’ll keep it concise. You have a somatic memory, so this is where trauma is stored in your muscles, nervous system and body’s tissues. Your brain also plays a big part in storing trauma. If you’re asking specifically which body parts hold the trauma, it can be anywhere within your body. So any muscle, any part of your body tissues or anywhere in the nervous system.
The next question is “can my gut issues be linked to my past trauma?” my answer is yes, yes and yes. Stress changes the gut bacteria and gut barrier function, so your stomach or gut distress can absolutely be caused by your trauma.
The next question is “can you do any kind of energy healing to help trauma?”. You sure can! When you experience a trauma, you will also go through all different surges of emotions, sensations and dysregulation. This really changes the energy flow within your body, so it’s not just physical and emotional pain that needs healing, your energy also does. Some ways this can be done are breathwork, movement, connecting with nature, getting reiki or doing EFT tapping.
The next question is “how do I reset after trauma?”. I’m not sure I fully understand this question, so I will answer it how I think you mean it but if I have understood this wrong, please let me know. You don’t need to reset your mind after trauma. You need to work on healing the trauma, but not resetting it. The trauma is never going to disappear but it can stop affecting you in life, which is the goal of healing it. We can’t change the past, but we can change how the past impacts you.
The last question for today is “how do I know I’m healed from trauma?”. You feel safe in your body and environment again. You are connected to your mind, your body and your soul. You feel happier, healthier, calmer and more confident. You begin feeling your emotions again. You’re living more mindfully and not on edge. You have less somatic symptoms so less headaches, less gut issues, less fatigue. You’re able to get support and ask for help. You’re not as irritable and you’re not reacting as much. Every person will differ, but these are some of the most noticeable signs.
Thank you so much to everyone that sent in these amazing questions, I loved doing a Q&A style blog post so feel free to continue sending me any questions you have on Instagram because I think these will be back again!
With love & support,
Shorina | Mindful Soul Collective
Counsellor & Wellbeing Coach