My 5 biggest lessons in life so far...
We will keep getting the same lesson until we learn it.
We can try and avoid it. We can try and hide away from it. We can pretend to learn it but if we don't learn the lesson that the Universe is providing to us, it's going to keep delivering the same thing until we do.
This is something I had to learn when I refused to rest. I was working 60-hour weeks, some months I didn't even have a day off. I pushed myself relentlessly without any care about myself. I would cry in the bathroom at work. I would have a short fuse. I was so incredibly unhappy. I burnt-out and yet I still didn't rest.
After living this way for a few years, with many, many hard times, I was in a car accident that caused a life-long back injury. This injury involved 3-months of bed rest and almost 12-months of not working at all. I refused to rest, even when the Universe (and my mind, body and soul) was begging me too. So, I was forced to rest. It wasn't a pretty lesson and unfortunately, it's still an injury that causes pain now, but it was a lesson I have well and truly learned.
We accept the love we give ourselves - Many of my first boyfriends treated me terribly. I was cheated on by almost every single one of them. I was pushed around. I was belittled. I was manipulated. I was made to believe I was worthless, useless and nobody would ever love me. But I forgave them and I'd let them stay in my life despite how horrible I felt.
But the truth is, I didn't see myself as worthy as anything more than that. I didn't treat myself with any more love, respect or kindness than my partners did. I allowed the behaviour and I set the standards by how I treated myself.
Does this excuse the behaviour? Absolutely not. But I did also play a role.
If you truly want something, you'll find a way - My mum and I are incredibly close now, but we didn't get along when I was younger (I also wasn't the easiest teenager). This led to me living alone from the age 14. I lived with my older brother for around year and then had my first rental at 15. I managed to complete high school while working full-time hours at McDonalds (to pay bills).
I was suicidal and self-harmed a lot. I truly didn't think I would live to my 18th birthday. I self-sabotaged. I allowed people to treat me terribly. But along the way, I wanted change. I wanted to feel differently. I wanted more for my life and despite the many, many challenges life has thrown at me, I'm living a life that is outside of the realms of 'possible' for 14-year-old Shorina.
Despite the series of unfortunate events that was my life, I have achieved and accomplished so many magical things because I decided I wanted it and I was going to make it happen... 2 beautiful children, an amazing partner, 2 soul-nourishing businesses, houses, cars, a caravan, holidays. But most importantly... happiness, contentment, peace, love and joy. Real. Life. Magic.
Investing in yourself should be non-negotiable - Every single time I invest in myself, I feel fear. I worry if I'll get the results I am hoping for or if I'll be wasting my money. Or every time I read a course page, a book intro, a podcast episode description or have a sales call with a potential coach, I feel that fear.
But do you know what I do? I feel the fear and do it anyway. I do it anyway because investing in myself is now a non-negotiable for me. If I am interested in something, I do it. Whether that's a course, a 1:1 mentorship, listening to a podcast, reading a book or whatever else. Because I know it's what is going to catapult me to the next level. It's going to allow me to learn something, grow, adapt or heal.
Also on this... investing in myself is only non-negotiable if it's coming from a good place internally. I won't do it to 'fix' myself or get 'answers' from somebody else or because I 'should'. I do it because I know it's right for me.
Nothing matters other than the present moment - Literally nothing matters other than where you are right now. When we can truly embody presence and living in the moment, we can feel true peace, love and joy.
Nothing else matters other than where you are, who you're choosing to be, the actions you're doing and the breath you take in this moment. The past isn't here anymore, and the future hasn't arrived yet, so all that matters is right now. This very moment.
With love & support,
Shorina | Mindful Soul Collective
Counsellor & Wellbeing Coach