how childhood experiences quietly shape your adult life

So much of who you are didn’t begin with conscious thought. It began in rooms you don’t even fully remember. In the words you heard when you were too young to question them. In the energy you absorbed long before you had the language to describe it.

It began in childhood.

Not in the obvious ways, always. But in the quiet moments. In what was praised, what was punished, and what was ignored. In the silence that fell after you cried. In the way adults responded when you got angry or upset. In how often you were comforted. In how safe it was to be seen.

Maybe you were raised in a loving home. Maybe you weren’t. But even the most well-meaning environments carry unspoken rules. Be quiet. Be easy. Don’t cry. Don’t need too much. Be helpful. Be good. And whether those messages were said out loud or just subtly implied, they were absorbed deeply.

Children are like sponges, not just for information, but for emotional and energetic cues. Your nervous system was learning what was safe, what was expected, and how to survive. Not with logic, but with felt sense. Your body remembered what your mind couldn’t explain. And so you adapted.

Maybe you became the achiever. Maybe the caretaker. The peacemaker. The invisible one. Maybe you learned to perform or perfect or please just to feel loved. Or maybe you learned to shut down completely. To not trust others. To never ask for too much.

These responses weren’t flaws. They were strategies. Adaptive, intelligent responses to the environment you grew up in. But over time, those patterns became embedded. And now, as an adult, they don’t feel like patterns at all. They feel like who you are.

You overthink every decision.

You minimise your needs.

You apologise even when you haven’t done anything wrong.

You work yourself to the edge of burnout just to feel like you’re enough.

You feel anxious in rest, unsafe in love, or uncomfortable when people see the real you.

And here’s what I want you to know now. None of this means you’re broken. None of this means you’re failing at life. None of this means you’re too far gone.

It means your nervous system is still holding onto the past. It means your inner child is still carrying the weight of what they never got to process. It means your body is doing its best to keep you safe in a world it once learned was not always safe to be in.

The beautiful news? You can unlearn these patterns. You can rewire the way you respond. You can begin to offer yourself what you never received. And no, it’s not instant. But it is possible. Healing is not about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you were before the world told you who to be.

This work starts with awareness. Noticing the parts of you that feel reactive, shut down, small, or deeply tender. It’s not about blaming your parents or staying stuck in the past. It’s about offering curiosity to the parts of you that are still trying to survive what’s already over.

You might begin by asking questions. What did I have to do to feel safe in my home growing up? What emotions were welcomed, and which were shamed? When did I start believing that love was conditional? What behaviours do I still repeat that once helped me avoid rejection, abandonment, or criticism?

And slowly, you begin to notice how much of your present is shaped by a past that hasn’t fully been seen, held, or healed.

That doesn’t mean you’re destined to stay stuck. It means you have an invitation. To soften old beliefs. To meet your inner child with compassion. To create safety from within. To choose differently now, not because it’s easy, but because it’s true.

And the more you notice, the more empowered you become. The beliefs that once lived in your body like truth begin to loosen. The voice that says you’re too much or not enough begins to quiet. And space opens. For new stories. For deeper self-trust. For gentleness.

This is the work I do with my clients. We explore not just the symptoms or surface patterns, but the roots. The parts of you that were never validated. The emotions you had to suppress. The roles you were forced to play. And together, we meet those parts with care. Not to fix you. But to help you come home to yourself.

Because you were never meant to live in survival forever. You were meant to feel safe in your body. Seen in your truth. Loved without condition. And worthy, not because you work hard, stay small, or please others, but simply because you exist.

You get to write a new story now. You get to believe in your own enoughness. You get to become the version of you that your inner child has been waiting for.

And if you’re ready for support in doing this work, you can view more information on my sessions here. Whether it’s one session or a longer journey, you are so welcome here. You can book a free vibe check call to see if we’re the right fit, or go ahead and explore the sessions and packages available.

Your healing isn’t a race. But it is a return. And you don’t have to do it alone.

With love & support,

Shorina | Mindful Soul Collective

Holistic Counsellor, Wellbeing Coach & Business Mentor

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If this resonated, I’d love to support you further! You’ll find everything you need, from free resources to information on working with me, right here.