your feelings aren’t the problem. abandoning them is.

Most of us were never taught the difference between emotional suppression and emotional regulation. But understanding the difference changes everything about how we relate to our feelings, our bodies, and ultimately, ourselves.

Emotional suppression is when we push emotions down, pretend they aren’t there, or try to ignore them altogether. It often comes from fear. Fear that feeling will be too much, fear that we’ll be judged, fear that emotions will make us weak or out of control. Suppression might look like smiling when you want to cry, bottling up anger until it explodes, or distracting yourself endlessly so you never have to feel the ache sitting underneath. The tricky thing about suppression is that the emotion doesn’t just disappear. It gets stored in the body, lingering quietly, sometimes for years, creating tension, illness, and emotional reactivity without us even realising it.

Emotional regulation is completely different. Regulation is about learning how to feel our emotions safely. It’s about allowing the emotion to rise, noticing it without judgement, and having the tools to move through it instead of getting stuck in it. Regulation sounds like breathing deeply when anger shows up. It looks like grounding yourself when anxiety rises. It feels like crying when you need to, and knowing that it’s safe to do so. True regulation isn’t about controlling your emotions, it’s about supporting yourself through them, gently, lovingly, wisely.

The difference between the two is massive. Suppression disconnects you from yourself. Regulation brings you home.

And the beautiful thing is, regulation is a skill you can learn. You don’t have to keep carrying everything inside. You don’t have to fear your emotions anymore. Your feelings aren’t wrong. They are messengers, asking to be seen, heard, and understood.

When you learn how to regulate, you learn how to meet yourself fully. You learn how to offer yourself the safety, love, and presence you’ve always deserved.

Healing doesn’t mean you’ll never feel hard emotions again. It means you’ll know how to hold yourself through them. And that changes everything.

With love & support,

Shorina | Mindful Soul Collective

Holistic Counsellor, Wellbeing Coach & Business Mentor

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