the cycle of self-destruction
- Shorina | Mindful Soul Collective
- Jun 13
- 2 min read

There was a time when I didn’t realise I was destroying myself. I thought I was just getting through. I thought the late nights, the reckless choices, the way I kept running from my own thoughts was just life. I told myself I was fine. That I didn’t care. That none of it really mattered.
But deep down, I was tired. Exhausted from holding everything in. From pretending the pain wasn’t there. From pushing people away before they could leave first. I filled the emptiness with anything that numbed it, people who didn’t deserve my love, distractions that kept me from feeling too much, moments of self-sabotage that felt like control, even when they were breaking me.
That’s the thing about self-destruction. It doesn’t always look like falling apart. Sometimes, it looks like independence. Like resilience. Like pushing through, even when your body is begging you to stop. It looks like keeping busy so you never have to be still. It looks like saying I’m fine when you’re anything but.
Healing didn’t come all at once. It started with small, quiet moments. The first time I let myself cry without trying to swallow it down. The first time I sat with my pain instead of running from it. The first time I realised that the life I was living wasn’t the life I wanted. That I didn’t have to keep punishing myself just because the world had once been unkind.
I had to learn that I was safe now. That I didn’t have to keep breaking myself just to survive. That healing wasn’t about fixing something broken, it was about coming home to myself.
If you’re in that place, if you know what it’s like to push love away, to make choices you don’t understand, to feel like you’re stuck in a cycle you can’t break… I see you. I know that pain. I know what it’s like to feel lost in it. But I also know that there is another way.
You don’t have to keep running. You don’t have to do this alone. If you’re ready to begin your healing, I’m here. And I will walk with you, step by step, as you find your way back home to yourself.
With love & support,
Shorina | Mindful Soul Collective
Holistic Counsellor, Wellbeing Coach & Business Mentor
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