I was recently interviewed for a podcast and the subject was around being mindful as a mum.
If I’m honest, I had never thought much of being mindful as a mum because I focus on being mindful as human being. But when I was sent some example questions for the podcast, I realised that it is MUCH harder to be mindful when you have kids than if you don’t have kids.
Now, to be clear, I’m not saying people without kids don’t have struggles, they absolutely do, but in my personal experience, being mindful as a mum has been a much bigger challenge than being mindful as a woman without kids.
I wanted to write about this because I’m a few years into having kids and living the whole ‘mindful mum’ role and I think the tips I’m about to share with you could change your life.
Here are some tips to incorporating mindfulness into motherhood:
♡ Finding the time
I think the biggest reason (or dare I say, excuse) we use as mothers is that we don’t have the time. I know that this was a big thing for me when my first was born.
I don’t have time to meditate because the house is a mess and that’s more important.
I don’t have time to go for a walk because there’s laundry to do and that’s more important.
I don’t have time to care for myself properly because there’s a tiny human who needs me and that’s more important.
I know all about the long list of things to be done and the long list of reasons why you may put yourself as a last priority but I’m going to stop you now.
You have the time to look after yourself, you’re just choosing not too.
There are little pockets of time throughout your day where you could do a few minutes of meditation or have a quick shower. There is an hour here or there that you may be choosing to clean the house instead of having a nap you desperately need. I’m sure you have time to scroll on social media (which btw, there’s no shame in, but my point is that’s time you could use in another way!).
I personally wake up before my kids. I set an alarm for roughly a hour before they would usually wake up and that’s my time. That’s when I get to fill my own cup and be my own person before I become a mum.
There is time in your day, you are just filling it with other things.
♡ Involve the kids
My eldest is now three years old and I’m working really hard to show him that I matter too. So if he wakes up early while I’m spending time to myself – which does happen by the way – he is learning that that’s mummy’s time.
He gets out his little notebook and journals beside me, he even holds a crystal too or he lays down next to me while I read or he does yoga with me.
You can teach your children why you’re doing things and one day, they will understand entirely (plus you’re giving some pretty rad life skills).
I make a conscious effort to explain to Ezra that I do these things for myself because they make me feel good. They make me happier and calmer so they’re really important to me. He is only three so it’s a work in progress but he is learning.
♡ Bliss list
The biggest thing that helped me when I first had Ezra was creating a bliss list.
This is essentially a list of things that make you feel good. They can include big things like holidays and small things like walking on the beach. They can include things that cost money like massages but also things that are basically free like watching a movie on the lounge.
I would recommend you sit and write a list of 100 things that fill your cup. Don’t stop at any less than 100. It may be hard for some people to think of that many things, but stick to it.
Once you have your bliss list, pop it on your fridge or mirror and every single day, choose three things off of it to do. No if’s or but’s. Make it a priority. Make yourself a priority.
Please remember that you’re a person before you’re a mum. In fact, I’ll go as far as saying I prioritise myself before my children because I know that if I’m not filling up my own cup, I will not show up as the mother (or person) I want to be. I matter too. Just like you matter too.
If you’re really struggling to prioritise yourself, I have availabilities for one-on-one sessions with me. You can find more info and book here.
Counsellor + Wellness & Mental Health Coach
Hi, I'm Shorina and I'm an Australian Counsellor + Wellness & Mental Health Coach. I'm here to support you to redefine your relationship to self and life! I incorporate a mind, body and soul wellness approach to my work with a focus on healing and mindfulness ♡