being good at something doesn’t make you more worthy.

So many of us have been told that we need to be a master at something for our life to have meaning or for our identity to feel ‘solid'. To feel ‘clear’. That if we just find the one thing we’re exceptional at and perfect it, we’ll finally feel secure, confident or whole.

I couldn’t disagree more if I tried.

This narrative of needing to be a master stems from a deeper belief that we’re only worthy if we’re exceptional. That being good isn’t enough, that ordinary isn’t enough, that simply being human doesn’t count unless it’s impressive. For a lot of people, especially those who learned early to perform or achieve for safety or approval, this constant need to be great at something becomes another way to prove we’re allowed to exist, rest or be respected.

Identity doesn’t need to be built on expertise. It can be built on values, presence, integrity and how you relate to yourself and others. You don’t need to be the best at something to be grounded in who you are. You don’t need to monetise your interests or refine them into a personal brand. You’re allowed to be a beginner. You’re allowed to be curious. You’re allowed to be many things over a lifetime. You’re allowed to absolutely suck at something and continue to do it anyway.

When we search for identity by attempting to be a ‘master’ at something, any change, failure or loss of capacity can feel like a threat to who you are. When identity is rooted in self connection, flexibility and honesty, you’re more resilient. You can adapt without feeling like you’re losing yourself.

You don’t need to master something to belong in your own life. You don’t need a title or an exceptional skill to be enough. Sometimes the most meaningful thing you can be is present, responsive and open to becoming, rather than fixed in needing to be excellent at one thing forever.

With love & support,

Shorina | Mindful Soul Collective

Holistic Counsellor, Wellbeing Coach & Business Mentor

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