I’ve battled with my mental health since I was 14 years old. I’ve had better periods where it didn’t really cause any issues, but it always seems to pop its head back up. My son was born just before my 23rd birthday. He was so beautiful. So perfect. He was everything my partner, Karl and I had dreamed of and I was the one who brought him into the world.
My depression popped its head back up into my life after my son was born. My life changed dramatically and I was now responsible for this tiny, beautiful baby. On one hand, it was the most exciting and beautiful time of my life, but on the other hand, I was in an incredibly dark place.
I wasn’t showering. I wasn’t eating or drinking water (unless Karl physically gave it to me). I wasn’t sleeping. I wasn’t seeing my friends. I cried a lot. I got angry, frustrated and overwhelmed by every single thing of my life.
My depression was back and it was in full force. I knew it was going to be around for a while so I had to figure out how to live with it. I had to find ways to be a good Mum, partner, daughter, friend and human being with depression.
My son is now two and things have improved overall but I still have days where I struggle and that’s okay. It’s okay to have bad days and to not feel quite right but I did want to talk about the things that helped me get out of that dark place and the things that help me be the best Mum I can while also having depression.
I wanted to share the biggest things that helped (and still help) me parent daily.
♡ Seek professional help
The first thing anybody should do when they believe they’re suffering from depression is to seek professional advice. I have a wonderful family doctor so when I realised I was dropping back into that dark place, I went to see him. I explained what I was thinking and feeling and he was able to provide the reassurance and help I needed. I also contacted my counsellor and booked regular sessions again.
I found that to be the best Mum I could be, I needed to have that professional support and, in the end, speaking and seeing my doctor and counsellor made a huge difference to my life.
I still see my counsellor regularly now and I don’t think it’s something I will stop.
♡ Take care of your physical body
As a parent, you spend every single day ensuring your child is drinking enough water, sleeping enough, eating enough and is bathed, loved and happy. I want to know; do you take care of yourself the same way? If you don’t, why?
You are just as important as your children, you matter too.
Take the time each day to eat nourishing food that fuels your body. Drink lots of water. Get sunshine and fresh air. Get enough sleep. Shower. Brush your teeth. You should do the things that your physical body needs.
♡ Find the time for the things you love
I believe all parents go through stages of life where they struggle with time. I know I definitely did (and still do sometimes) but I think one of the most important things for parents who suffer from mental illness to do is find the time for the things they love.
I know that if I want to be the best Mum I can be then I need to find the time. Whether that means Karl takes over for a night or I call in reinforcement from my Mum or friends.
I make sure that I have time every single day to meditate, journal, moisturise after my shower and stretch alone. There are several things I do through the day that I love doing with my son such as colouring-in or playing outside but I do need to do some things alone to keep my mindset the healthiest it can be.
Don’t feel guilty for taking time for yourself because you were a person before you were a parent and you deserve to care for that person too.
♡ Routines
If you’re new to my blog, I think you should know that I love routines (and to-do lists!). I talk about routines quite a lot but it’s for a good reason!
In particular, I want to talk about morning routines here. When you wake up in the morning, do you have a similar set of things you do? Or do you just ‘wing it’?