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embracing & surrendering to change


Mindfulness, Mind, Body, Soul Wellness & Healing | Counsellor & Mental Health and Wellbeing Coach in Newcastle Australia

We’re 2-3 months into 2024 and honestly, it’s been a really, really big couple of months and I don’t know if I’ve coped with everything too well. I’m okay and there’s been no break downs or anything like that, but there’s been a lot of changes and in result of that, a lot of things have been put on the back burner and that’s what I want to talk about today.


Even as I sat there thinking about what to say in this blog post, I felt myself getting overwhelmed with where to begin, what to cover and how honest I wanted to be so this post is coming straight from the heart, in it’s purest form of love, for you but also for me too.


My eldest, Ezra, started school this year, more specifically at the beginning of February and honestly, I’ve felt like it has been non-stop, go, go, go since.


I was prepared for the first day. I was prepared to leave him there five days a week. I was prepared for myself to feel emotional, and for Ez to even feel a bit nervous or scared. I was prepared for the tears from Ez and myself. I was prepared in terms of uniforms, lunches, bags, school notes, OOSH and all of the other things that come with school. I was so prepared for all of that. But, there are so many things I wasn’t prepared for.


I was not prepared for how heart-breaking it would be for my other son, Wyatt. He has been distraught each morning since Ez started school. Wyatt goes to daycare four days a week, so each morning of daycare, I leave him screaming in the educators arms while I walk out of the room, wanting to cry myself. And at the time of doing this episode, just yesterday, on the way to daycare, Wyatt was asking me to please stay home so he could be with his Ezzy. I have had my heart broken before. Many times in fact. But the distraught and pure sadness that Wyatt is experiencing right now is not something I was prepared for. It wasn’t even something I considered or thought would be happening, and honestly, it is taking it’s toll on me.


Something else I was not prepared for was school drop off. Now, I knew that it would be a 9 o’clock drop off, we all know school starts at 9 but I didn’t expect there to be so much traffic at that time. As a reminder, I work from home, I had no reason previously to drive during peak times. The first week of school, Ez was late twice. Twice because I didn’t allow enough time. The boys go to school in opposite directions, so it takes me a hour and half to do drop off in the morning of both kids. And majority of that time involves having the kids in the car with me, so there is fighting, singing, teasing and all of the usual chatter between two kids, and I get overwhelmed with that quite easily. So a hour and half of that each morning also takes it’s toll on me.


Because I was not prepared for long school drop offs, that means I was not prepared for shorter workdays. Before Ez started school, I had between 7.30am and around 4pm each day for work. On average anyway. I was prepared in the sense of OOSH so Ez goes there three afternoons a week, but I’m still losing a lot of work-time during the week because of drop-offs. I actually did the maths for this episode, which I’m not sure helps my mindset around it haha, but I lose a total of 12 work hours per week, that’s across each day and mornings and afternoons. 12 hours. That is 12 less hours I have to do everything I do.


Now, I love my work. I love my clients. I love my businesses. I love my podcast. I love everything I do, so to lose 12 hours a week honestly sucks, and I think it mostly sucks because it’s not like I’m now spending the entire extra 12 hours a week with my kids, it’s spent running around for school and daycare. So honestly, this part of it all sucks, and I was certainly not prepared for it.


I’ve also had a lot of one-off things happening, like hiring new people to join my team and onboarding them. I had a wisdom tooth removed. A lot of specialist doctors appointments and tests, including a two-day sleep study test for myself. I got a few new tattoos. I have had meetings with Ezra’s school. A lot of conversations and phone calls for family admin. And of course, with all of these things, there are the usual chaos of life things to do, like catching up with friends, date nights with Karl, work training, swimming lessons, meetings, and my own therapy.


So you can say it’s been a big couple of months, mostly in February but I’d say it started ramping up in Jan and then hit me in February haha.


All of this has meant I’ve really had to embrace change. Change to my work. Change to my schedule. Change to my habits. Change to the housework and family admin. Change to my mindset around all of the above. There’s a lot of embracing of change happening, and I’d be lying if I said it was resistance free, because I don’t like change. I am a creature of habit, because honestly, it makes me feel safer and happier when I know exactly what is happening and when, so this change is not coming naturally haha.

But all of this change, has really inspired today’s post about why we should embrace and surrender to change as it happens.


The truth is, embracing change is so important for us. It allows us to step outside of our comfort zone and explore new experiences. It develops our resilience and helps us to move through uncertainty. It allows new opportunities within our relationships, career, or life. It encourages us to reflect on our values, our beliefs, and our goals. It encourages introspection and self-awareness work. Change gives us the amazing opportunity of self-discovery and personal growth. Which is why we’re all here, right? We all want to grow, heal and expand. And change really allows us to live a life filled with that growth, healing and expansion.


As I speak about embracing change, I do also want to say that I’m far from perfect. I’m still learning to embrace this change, so this episode is as much for you as it is for me. I never want somebody to listen to my podcast or read my content and think I’ve got life figured out, because believe me I don’t. At the time of recording this, I have around 6 loads of washing to fold and put away. All of the bedsheets are overdue to be washed. My bathroom is overdue for a clean too. I ate a microwave meal for lunch today and Karl is having leftover KFC from dinner last night. I’ve mentioned Ezra being late to school twice in his first week. I forgot to fill out one of Ezra’s school notes and had to email it in. My car is filled with toys. I haven’t had time to do Ezra’s speech homework in the last few weeks. I have many emails awaiting my action. I almost forgot to complete my BAS and taxes for last quarter.  I have not gone to the gym or even gone for a walk in two, almost three, weeks. I have not been consistently journaling or meditating or doing any of the things that are purely for me.


So believe me, I’m far from perfect and embracing change is something that I’m trying to navigate right now too. I really wanted to share that with you because like I said, we’re on this journey together! So I want for us to embrace this change together, while also still taking care of ourselves.


So, how the heck do we embrace and surrender to the change you may be thinking, well I wanted to share with you my ideas on how I plan to continue embracing this change!

The first thing way I am embracing change is by simply accepting it. We need to be willing and open to accepting the fact that our life has changed, and honestly, will continue to change. It’s a natural part of life so rather than resisting or denying change, we really need to cultivate an attitude of acceptance to flow with whatever change is coming up.


Allow yourself to feel the feelings that come with the change. Recognise, validate and express your feelings, whether they’re positive or negative and then release the urge to resist or control things that are beyond your control. Instead of fighting against life and reality, accept it as it is.


The second way I am embracing chance is by staying flexible. Staying flexible and open to shifting your plans, goals, expectations, visions and life is so important when embracing change because when something changes in our outer world, chances are, something in our inner world will need adjusting to match it. I have a lot of goals and things I want to do and achieve, and honestly, after this month, I know that I need to shift my timeline on them because I simply don’t have the capacity for it anymore. And that’s okay. So what can you be more flexible on or how can you be more flexible while you’re embracing the changes in your world?


The third way I am embracing change is by making life as easy as possible. And this one may be super specific to where I’m at in life but thought I’d mention it anyway as I know it is going to be the catalyst for me personally, and it may be helpful to somebody listening. The truth is, I no longer have the capacity for all of the things I used to have capacity for because of time restraints or energy restraints, so I’ve really been leaning into the question “how can I make this easier?”. And I’d love for you to start asking yourself this question too.


I mentioned that I haven’t been able to get to the gym in a few weeks and that is purely due to time. I already drive around for a hour and half each morning, I do not want to then go to the gym and lose another hour and half of my day when I already feel like my day is jam packed. So when I asked myself ‘how could this be easier’, I realised that if I had a walking pad at home, this would allow for movement before the kids wake up or while I’m working. It doesn’t replace the gym because I want and need to be lifting weights too, but it allows for a lot of easier movement throughout the week and less days at the gym.


Another example for me is with my content. Last year, I was posting on my feed daily, with additional Reels and TikToks, posts on Threads and Facebook and I was also trying to do multiple stories, weekly newsletters and blog updates. That was every single day. This year, I do not have the capacity to do that. I don’t have the time or energy to be creating that much content, so when I asked ‘how can this be easier?’, I realised that I don’t need to be doing all of the platforms with the daily posting, so now, I post on my feed three times a week and one newsletter and blog post per week. Everything else happens when I’m inspired or called to it.


So, just ask yourself ‘how can this be easier?’ and allow yourself to make life easier.


The fourth way I am embracing and surrendering to the change is by prioritising my self-care. Now I’ll be honest, this has absolutely fallen to the back burner over the last few weeks, so as I speak about this one, I am speaking to myself and publicly declaring that I will devote the time needed for myself moving forward.

Change can bring on so many emotions. It can make us feel stressed, anxious, and unsafe, so it’s so important that we practise self-care and offer ourselves kindness, compassion and love.


Self-care and self-love is such a deep, complex topic to dive into but I did want to share what this looks like specifically for me at this stage of life. Of course, it starts with prioritising the basics. I say it basically every episode, but you need to ensure you’re drinking enough filtered water, eating regular nutritious meals, moving your body, getting enough quality sleep and having plenty of fresh air and sunshine. This is the fundamental stuff. So, so important.


I’m also going to be putting the time and energy into practising mindfulness and self-awareness work. This looks like continuing my therapy, journaling regularly and meditating daily and I’m going to be putting a big focus on regulating my nervous system which is going to look different each day, so I’ll flow with whatever feels good that day.


I’m also definitely in a season of setting boundaries. Right now, myself, my family and my work are my priorities, so if I have time and energy left over after taking care of myself, my family and my work, then great. That’s when I’ll see friends, do favours and whatever else. Boundaries are absolutely necessary for me right now and maybe some people in my life won’t understand that, and that’s okay because I understand why I’m doing it, and I’m okay with it.


That’s it! The four ways I’m going to embrace and surrender to the change I’m trying to flow through. I think the more we can embrace and surrender, the easier it will be able to flow and find our feet again.


With love & support,

Shorina | Mindful Soul Collective

Counsellor & Wellbeing Coach

 

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