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2. Are you in crisis, struggling, surviving or thriving?

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In today's episode, I discuss:

  • the four states of wellbeing and mental health

  • how you can know what state you're in

  • my top tips to support you to move into a thriving state

  • final recommendations on what to focus on for each state individually

Podcast Transcript

Welcome to the Mindful Soul Collective Podcast, a safe space for your healing.

I'm your host Sharina, a counsellor, well-being coach, multi-bus owner and mum.

I'm here to talk all things mind, body and soul.

You can expect conversations on mental health, mindfulness, mindset, healing and whole body wellness.

I've completely redefined my relationship to myself and to my life.

And now it's your turn.

Hello and welcome back to the podcast.

In today's episode, I really wanted to chat about and dive into the four states of well-being and mental health.

So they are thriving, surviving, struggling and in crisis.

But before we get into what they are and where you might be sitting and some tips to

help you get to that thriving state, I really want you to take a minute and just consider

where you think you might be sitting.

So do you think that you're thriving or maybe you know that you're struggling or in crisis?

Where do you think you are?

And to figure that out, I have some quick and easy questions for you to answer.

So how are you feeling right now within your mind, your body, your soul?

Are you happy?

Do you feel stressed?

Are you tired?

Maybe you're sore with aches and pains?

Are you doing things that light you up?

How are you feeling really right now?

In today's world and society, we are constantly running off of caffeine, quick hits of dopamine from social media and to-do lists. And I think that more of us are struggling than we want to admit.

And in saying that, if we're not struggling, I think a lot of us are sitting in that middle

ground of simply surviving, which isn't sustainable.

We want to be thriving.

We want to be in that state where everything feels good and everything is in flow.

So let's talk about the four states individually and we're just going to start right off the

top and we are thriving.

So thriving is really where we want to be.

And some people may actually think they're sitting in their state, but they aren't.

So people who are in a thriving state are living really aligned. So in all areas of their life, things just feel really great. They feel like their life has meaning and purpose. They wake up with a spring in their step because they got so much great sleep the night before.

They're excited about their day ahead. They nourish their body with lots of water and nutritious foods. They move their bodies regularly in a way that feels good for them.

They have time for themselves. They have routines and habits that support their lifestyle.

They parent with patience. They enjoy a company of great people. They don't talk negatively about themselves or about other people. They feel relaxed and calm.

They handle challenges with very little stress and they show up for themselves and do amazing things for themselves, but also for the world. In all honesty, they just feel great.

Everything about their life feels great and aligned and in flow.

The second state is surviving.

So as I mentioned earlier, I do think a lot of people fall into this state and they're

not even aware of it.

I've spent a lot of my parenting years in this state and honestly, I find myself slipping

in and out of this surviving state quite often, but it is something that I'm aware of and

I continually take note of and work on.

So you know, I do my best.

So people who are in a surviving state are doing okay, but there's definitely room for

improvement. They're not necessarily sick or unhappy, but on the flip side, they're also not truly healthy or happy. They know deep down that something has to change.

So whether that's to do with their mind or their body or their soul, like something just

doesn't feel right. They often have super busy lives filled with lots of to-do lists, but no time for resting or relaxing or play or things that just feel fun for them. They have some really great days where they nourish their body with water and nutritious foods, but then they also have just as many days where it's the complete opposite. They push through their days relatively alright, but you know, something pops up or something goes wrong and they crash and fall down like a house of cards. They get everything done they need to get done, but they are most likely also not getting the things that they want to do done either. So things that are more fun and you know, aren't for a purpose. They're doing okay, but they aren't necessarily doing the best for themselves either.

The third state is struggling.

So people in this state are most likely pretty done with life. They're lacking something or maybe even everything in terms of like mind, body and soul. So they wake up and they still feel tired. They don't take note of what they eat or drink or consume and honestly they probably don't really care that much right now either. They're usually stressed, overstimulated and overwhelmed. They feel unsupported, maybe even a bit alone.

Everything feels really hard for them. They might even wonder if life is supposed to be like this or if things are meant to be better. Like they just don't really know what is happening.

And the fourth state is in crisis.

And this is what people and I would consider rock bottom. They feel lost, numb out of control. They don't do anything to nourish their mind, their body or their soul, like in any way, shape or form. They struggle to fall asleep or stay asleep. They probably have physical symptoms showing up as well, like random pains or unexpected and unusual weight loss and gain. They withdraw themselves from people, opportunities and experiences and they are very easily or maybe even always stressed, overwhelmed, angry, annoyed. They just don't feel very good around other people and handling these emotions when they come up. They might also have dependencies or addictions to people, substances, food, sex, work or anything else like that. They might have intrusive thoughts which may be suicidal thoughts. They may be self harming. They most likely have excessive negative self talk so they talk really poorly about themselves.

People who are in crisis often struggle to see any other way of life than the way that they're living right now. They don't believe things can be better. There's no thought process there. Like where they are is where they're going to stay. That's how it feels for them.

So before we go any further with the episode, I want to say that if you are in this state,

please seek professional help today. Please tell your loved ones. Look in with a counsellor, see your GP to ask for support, call Lifeline. Please don't wait any longer.

Whatever state you're in now, I don't want you to feel ashamed or embarrassed or judge

yourself in any way, shape or form. There's no right or wrong state. We're just all living lives. Right? We're all just people living in these like human meats acts essentially.

So please don't feel guilt or shame or embarrassed or any of those things because you're just living life.

And I've been in all of these states at one stage or another. I've been in crisis. I've been struggling. I've been surviving and I've been thriving. And like I said earlier, I still find myself slipping into that surviving state every now and again. I think that as we get older and we grow and experience new challenges and move through new stages of life, we're going to go up and down the states.

But what's important is for us to keep track of where we are and what we need to support

ourselves so that we can move our way back up to that thriving state again because that's where you want to be. That's where life feels good and it gets to stay good.

So I'm going to share some general recommendations and tips that are going to be helpful for you no matter what state you're in.

But they're going to be especially helpful if you're in crisis, struggling or surviving.

And then I'll share a couple of final thoughts on each state individually to end the episode. So if you want to pause me, grab a note pad or your phone to make some notes or whatever it is, that would be amazing.

But let's get into the recs and tips.

So the first tip I wanted to share is to look at the basics of your health.

And this is actually where I start with all of my clients because our physical health is

so connected to our mental and emotional health. It shocks me that more people don't look at this first. So looking at the basics of your health and looking at things like, are you sleeping enough quality sleep? Are you drinking enough water? And ideally you want to be drinking filtered water? Are you eating regularly and are you eating nutritious foods?

Are you moving your body every day?

And as a little side note, when I talk about moving my body, I choose not to use the word exercise because when we're talking about exercise, a lot of people instantly connect that to the gym and spin classes and going for a run and things like that. But when I talk about moving my body, it's really about what feels good for me on that day. Because yeah, maybe it does feel like going to the gym, lifting some rates, going for a run, you'll never see me run. So I take that back.

But you know, some days it is about the weight training. But then other days, all my body wants to do is stretch, or do some light yoga or pilates, or just dance.

So when I talk about moving my body, it's not necessarily going to the gym. It's about moving your body in a way that feels good for you, that is also stretching your muscles and getting your heart rate up and all that sort of thing back to the basics. So do you have any aches or pains that really need to be checked out by somebody? When was your last dental clean or skin check? Should you be getting regular blood tests, but you're not.

We can't expect our minds to feel good when our bodies feel like shit. And I say that with love, of course. So start with basics, start with supporting your physical body and your physical health first, and then you can move on to the other things.

The second tip is to get more fresh air and sunshine. Get fresh air and sunshine every single day, every single hour if you can. It is so important to us in so many different ways.

So make sure you're getting fresh air and sunshine and so much of it.

Third tip is rest more. And for the love of God, please rest more and resting does not just mean napping. That is definitely resting and I love a good nap, but that's not what I mean when I talk about resting. When I talk about resting, it's about slowing down. It's sitting in silence. It's meditating. It's getting a massage. It's choosing the to watch TV instead of going to the gym. It's going to therapy. Rest is so many beautiful things, but most importantly, it's so important. It's something that's going to bring you home to yourself. It's going to ground you and help support you in feeling like you again. And we all need more rest.

The fourth tip is to look at the areas of your life and determine what may not feel sustainable. So maybe you're working longer hours than you'd like at work or maybe you have a lot of different commitments right now that feels manageable, but you know it's not going to last.

Take a look at your life and for all of the things that feel okay for you now, but they

may not feel okay later, determine how you can move things around or mix things up so

it isn't full on.

The next tip is find a balance. It is so easy to fall into old habits and less than ideal lifestyle when things have been really going really well. And I think a really common example of this is a cheat day. So you eat perfectly and you work out perfectly every single day and then Sunday rolls in and you're allowed to eat whatever you want, skip the gym and just lays around. And I'm all for lasing around, but there needs to be a better balance in our life if we want to stay in a thriving state. So instead of having just one day where everything goes out the window, find a bit of freedom in each day, find balance in each day. So wearing your life do you need more balance?

Maybe it's having a shorter workout so you can go to bed earlier or maybe it's cutting back your hours at work or going part time at uni. Maybe you do implement some sort of cheat day. Can you mix it up so that there's more balance in every day? Look at your life and see where you might need more balance.

The next tip is to check in with the relationships, the routines and the habits you have.

Are they supporting you or are they depleting you? How do they feel to you? What needs to change? Who needs to leave your life? What new habits or routines do you want or need to implement? Sit down and really sit with this stuff. Consider what needs to change


The next tip is to start to implement one thing for your mind and for your soul every

single day. So if we go back to the first tip where you were looking at the basics, that's you supporting your body. Now we want to support your mind and your soul. So this is going to be different for everybody. And again, sit with this. Find something that feels so overwhelmingly good to you. It could be meditating or breath work. Maybe it's journaling or painting. Maybe it's to dance or surf. Do whatever feels good to you and do what's going to help you drop into the present moment and tune out of the outside world in a healthy way. You want to tune out from the outside world so you can tune in to your internal world. That's what you want to do for your mind and your soul. To find something that helps support you to do that.

The next tip is get professional support in your journey. Book in with a counselor or coach.

See a healer, get reiki, book in with a naturopath or dietician. Don't allow yourself to fumble through this journey on your own. Not only are you allowed to get support, you're going to get results faster when you have support.

I've supported clients through each of the four states and they've all had massive changes and breakthroughs and growth. And like I said earlier, I've been in each state and I've had support through each state as well. And that's what helps me move through the state so quickly to get back to that thriving place.

And my last tip is to continue listening to my podcast. Yes, a selfless plug. I'm not ashamed. I'm here for it. But I say that with faith because the content that I share here and across all my platforms is going to help you live a healthier and happier life. It is that simple. That is a fact. The content that I share if you implement it into your life, you will be healthier and you will be happier.

So for my final thoughts on each state individually.

For the people who are thriving, you really want to focus on making sure you can find a beautiful balance in your current life so you can maintain this state.

For the people who are surviving, you will want to check in with your physical health

and your body as well as your mind and your soul to see what needs attention first and

foremost to move up into that thriving state.

So a lot of the time it is the physical body which actually needs to be supported first,

but make sure you check in and see where your mind and your soul is sitting.

For the people who are struggling and in crisis, you want to start at the basics of supporting your mental health and your well-being. You don't want to aim too high. You really want to work from the ground up and support your body first and foremost and

then work on your mind and your soul.

And if you're in crisis, as I mentioned earlier, please seek professional help from a counsellor from your GP, from anybody who works within the mental health field.

I cannot stress that enough. Life does not have to feel like this. It can feel better.

You can feel better. And when you have professional help in place, you also get to work from the ground up and support your body first and foremost and then lean into supporting your mind and your soul in a safe space. You don't have to do it alone. I hope this was helpful.

Thank you for tuning in to today's episode.

If you have loved it, please follow the podcast on wherever you're listening to me.

Share with your friends, leave a review.

All of these little things make a huge difference to my podcast and I appreciate it so much.

Having lots of love to you and lots of support to you and I will chat with you again soon.

With love & support,

Shorina | Mindful Soul Collective

Counsellor & Wellbeing Coach


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